Sunday 1 July 2018

The chance of anything coming from that there Mars...

...are 100% actually!

See, that Robbing Hood has created a new audio version, which is quite brilliant.

And that reminded me of a major failing of John Wayne's Musical Version Of HG Wells' That War Of Them Worlds.

Namely, That Eve Of That War, and the specific lyric appertaining to this particular blogular title.

So, ole Dick Burton quoth the following piece of narration:
At midnight, on the 12th of August, a huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars and sped towards Earth. Across two hundred million miles of void, invisibly hurtling towards us, came the first of the missiles that were to bring so much calamity to Earth. As I watched, there was another jet of gas. It was another missile, starting on its way. And that's how it was for the next ten nights: A flare, spurting out from Mars. Bright green, drawing a green mist behind it. A beautiful, but somehow... disturbing sight. Ogilvy, the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger. He was convinced there could be no living thing on that remote, forbidding, planet...


Now, after establishing the fact that something has erupted from Mars is speeding towards Earth, that chap who's just in a haystack musically warbles:
The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, he said (aaaaah, aaaaaah), The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one... but still... they come!"


Now, first of all, this is NOT what he said at all! Burto clearly states that Ogilvy says something along the lines of:
"We're in no danger. There's nowt living on Mars. You twat."

Secondly, they've clearly established something is coming from Mars. They've seen a plume of luminescent gas speeding towards Earth! At this point, they don't know it's a missile, cylinder, meteor, or what, but it is something. So, the chances of "anything" coming from Mars, is not "a million to one", because it's right fucking there! They're looking at the bloody thing!

Now, in the book, the actual quote  is:
"The chances against anything manlike on Mars are a million to one,” he said.

Which is perfectly correct, as them Martians are all Cthonic hentai squiddery ballsacks. So clearly, the lyric should be "The chances of anything manlike on Mars, are a million to one, he said". Which not only fits the tune, but is also factually correct.

As it's the 40th Anniversary of the albumen on Monday, I wonder if Young Master Wayne will fix this gaping error, and release a(nother) modified version of Bruce Wayne's Musical Version Of HG Wells' That War Of Them Worlds: The Nude Generation With Correct Lyrics And Bonus Hentai Tentacular Rapey Bits. 

Well, it's more likely than Jeff Wayne's Animated CGI Movie Of Jeff Wayne's Musical Version Of HG Wells' That War Of Them Worlds ever being finished off!

Friday 29 June 2018

Ooh, Ash vs Evil Dead auction coming up!

AND you can get some of the used screen props/costumes!!

Looks like my one and only chance
To actually get into Dana DeLorenzo's pants!!!


https://vipfanauctions.com/ash-vs-evil-dead-prop-and-costume-auction/

Thursday 28 June 2018

What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?

So, apparently Ingerlund played The Footy again, so everyone stayed at home/down the pub.

So I got to go home early coz we had no games tonight.

Not one.

And I'm not entirely sure why! Especially when they could have been having an aweXym time with me.

Instead, I ended up doing some Freddie Mercury hoovering and polishing. And a bit of repairs.

But getting back to to Kick The Spheroid: I'm told that it doesn't matter if Ingerlund win or lose, because they've already won some points, so they still win even if they lose....

eh?

SO WHY THE JIZZERY SNOT ARE THEY PLAYING?!?!

In my book, if you lose - YOU LOSE! You lost, so home you go!



It's a bit unfair on the other team too! If they win - where's the sense of achievement? "Wha-hey lads! You beat Ingerlund! But it makes fuck-all difference, because they've already beat you".

Never understood BootABall, me!

Tuesday 26 June 2018

You're not alone...

I'll wait 'till the end of time
Open your mind
surely it's plain to see...

...it's stupid o'clock in the fucking morning, and we're raising a mob in the village square!

March forth, bearing torches! Through the fields and forests! Over ditches until dawn!

And as morning breaks, reach the clifftop and gaze upon ye beach!


Perilously plunge at speed, down through the bristly foliage and dive upon the dunes!

Finally, race over the sandy shore, right into the path of panicked ponies!

Rampaging roans stampede o'er ye cresting waves, before colliding with ye olde mobbe to celebrate 250 years of banking.

As you do!

Sunday 24 June 2018

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming...

Fuck, it's arrived.

Judging by the screams, an English pig-bladder booter has successfully kicked a small sphere into a box 8,118% larger than the sphere itself! 

 And not just once, multiple times too! 

This is such an overwhelming achievement, people are descending into Cthonic madness! 

I walked through a door not much larger than myself - let alone one 8,118% larger of titanic R'lyehan proportions! I don't see anyone celebrating me for it! 

"ooh, but Xym, they have to compete against 11 other players!

Yeah - and I had to complete with hoardes of twatarse chavscum with feral offspring, double buggies and tattooed knuckle-dragging gorillas... 

...and their neanderthal husbands/bfs/sidecocks... 

...barging out of entrances instead of exits, and generally being obnoxious obstructionists! 

But how fĂȘted am I? 

Buggery sod all! 

Yet a girlyboy in shorts is worshipped for swinging a leg and getting a tiny object into a huge hole!

And I don't mean his cock into Katie Cheap-Price's pussy. or something.

Friday 22 June 2018

Get up, come on, Xym's down with the sickness...

...bleurgh!

Think this weekend may be a bit of a wash out.

I be quite unwell.

Don't expect much bloggery.

Thursday 21 June 2018

I need excitement, oh, I need it bad...

...and Xym's the best you've ever had!

Wow!

Not only did I give one of my Top Hot Pretties the best time she's ever had...

..I'm now the most amusing person someone's ever met!

I'm great I is!!